I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
