Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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