Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
