No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
