There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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