Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
