Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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