A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
