so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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