btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
