My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
