I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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