My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
