If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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