I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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