This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
