i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
