East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
