why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My vagina is very pro this idea
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