Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
