If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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