if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
