i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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