Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize