Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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