Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Let's paint friendship bongs
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize