do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
