I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
