before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
