Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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