I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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