69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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