Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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