I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
