That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
