gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
