D3 body, D1 cock
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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