my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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