Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
