this beer tastes like vomit already
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
