Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
