I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
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