HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
