I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize