is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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