I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
