Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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