Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
