I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
