i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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