At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we're making bets on your personal life
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
