Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
