My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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