She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
