covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
