I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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