i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My ass is underappreciated
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
