WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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