Taylor Swift is so right about you.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
