well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
