Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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