just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
