I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
