he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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