I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
