I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
