i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize