Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
