Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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