Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
