For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
