Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
